My dad always came to any activity I was involved in. From the time I was young and through jr. high and high school he came and supported all my games. And when I say all..I mean all. I really don't remember a time when he wasn't there in the stands cheering me on. After a particularly good play, I would always glance at him and he would give me a little nod and a thumbs up sign--ever so discretely-- which meant "way to go", "I am proud of you", "I love you." Also, after particularly bad plays he would do the same sign which meant to me "you can do it--don't worry about it--shake it off!" I knew he loved me no matter the outcome and he celebrated with me during the victories and comforted after the losses. I imagine our loving Father in Heaven doing much the same things as we experience victories and losses--sometimes demoralizing and embarrassing losses--during this earth life.
I remember an experience I had at a local swimming pool when I was a youngster. I had been learning to swim and my dad encouraged me to jump off the diving board. I began baby steppin' out to "my edge" which was only as far as the cold, silver hand rails extended. As long as I was holding on to those, I felt safe, but I wouldn't venture out to the actual edge. I remember him treading water and encouraging me to jump to him. I didn't move and continued gripping the rail and looking into the deep water and shaking my head "no." We've all witnessed this scene before-- all the while the line behind me is growing and people are looking at me. I remember my dad's continued and kind, patient, encouragement continuing to tell "You can do it!" "I will help you!" Sad to say, that as a parent I would probably have resorted to things like "look at all those kids lining up behind you--you're holding up the line-just go!" or "if you go you can get an ice-cream cone!" But he just patiently and lovingly invited me to try. I will never forget the look on his face or the words that he said next as I continued to cling to those bars despite his best efforts. He said "Jennifer--don't you trust me? I would never ask you to do something that would harm you!" I took my eyes off the deep waters and focused my eyes on my dad's face---and the fear left me. I knew that even if I wasn't able to swim the short distance to the side of the pool--he could. And he would help me if my own strength began to falter and that he would NEVER let me drown. I let go and jumped in and swam over to the side with my dad by my side the whole way. He then showered me with compliments and a hug leaving me with a sense of accomplishment and the courage to do it again. This experience reminds me of this scripture:
2 Nephi 4:34
I imagine the silver, cold, railings on the diving board as the arm of flesh. Sometimes I cling to that because it feels concrete and safe at the time--but I contrast trusting in those cold and lifeless railings to trusting in a warm, living, loving Father who invites us to do things that pull us out of our comfort zone and closer to Him--promising (and He is completely trustworthy and ALWAYS keeps His promises) all along that He will be with us and help us and never asks us to do anything that would harm us or anything that is more than we can handle. I also need to remember that even if what is asked is beyond my ability it is not beyond His. When our focus is on Him and His Son Jesus Christ, it is easy and natural to trust in them--but that means taking our focus off the deep water!
I LOVE this Mormon Message--it makes me weep as I think of my earthly father, the father of my children, and my Heavenly Father and their roles in my life!!!
(P.S. I was given an IV containing Benadryl prior to writing this post--if there are grammatical or typing errors I will blame it on the fact that my eyes were crossing as I fought off the urge to sleep!)
