One Week Down

When I was pregnant with Carson, I taught 2nd grade at an elementary school.  I have vivid memories of being in the faculty room eating lunch and listening as each teacher recounted her own terrible childbirth experience.  I was horrified and started to imagine all the worst-case scenario experiences.  You hear these stories all the time while you are pregnant.  I think my all time favorite is when I was considering not getting an epidural with Eden, and trying to have a "natural" childbirth.  I discussed this with a friend who had previously experienced natural childbirth herself.  I asked her to share what her experience was NOT having an epidural.  After some thought, she said very matter of factly, "It wasn't tooo bad... It just felt like I was giving birth to a bowling ball that was on fire and had knives sticking out of it!"  In case you are wondering, I opted for the epidural.  It has been a similar thing with starting chemotherapy.  I have heard and read things that others have experienced and it has caused me some anxious moments.

Well, one week into the chemo, I think it is mostly what one would imagine it would be.  I felt okay the day after the first treatment, but the next day(I'll call it day 3-day1 being treatment day) the nausea and bone aches kicked in.  I am sure the anti-nausea meds helped me to not actually throw up but there was no relief (except for sleep) from the nausea until yesterday (day 7).  The closest thing I have experienced to this would be the flu.  I felt clammy, crampy, and crappy. (Perhaps in the future I will just refer to it as the 3 C's of chemo:)  I am surprised that I have already felt it affect my mouth--Day 5 I woke feeling as if I had burned my tongue, roof of my mouth, and inside of my cheeks with hot broth or hot chocolate.  It wasn't actually burning but felt rough and just like it does after I burn my tongue on hot soup.

Yesterday was a big improvement on things which was very welcome relief:  the evening before was probably the low point.  I was wondering if the symptoms would ever improve or if I would feel like that the whole time.   My nose had begin to run and it burned and I could smell a chemical smell and taste a chemical taste and it made me sick.  I cried and told Chad that I couldn't do this for 17 more weeks...  He has been so helpful and compassionate and I am so grateful for him!!!  We prayed for relief and we are so grateful that it came!!!  That night the symptoms began to alleviate and the by next morning the nausea had subsided.  The next morning Chad was reading his scriptures--He was reading about the Jaredite barges and how they were driven by the winds and the waves to the promised land:

 5 And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a ^afurious wind blow upon the face of the waters,^btowards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.

 6 And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.

 7 And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being^atight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the^bark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.

 8 And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were ^adriven forth before the wind.

 9 And they did ^asing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did ^bthank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord.

 10 And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither ^awhale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water.

 11 And thus they were driven forth, ^athree hundred and forty and four days upon the water.

 12 And they did ^aland upon the shore of the ^bpromised land. And when they had set their feet upon the shores of the promised land they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord, because of the multitude of his ^ctender mercies over them.

That phrase "when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters" feels so applicable to our last 7 days.  We are grateful to be "back again on top of the waters" so to speak.  We are grateful for the many tender mercies we have felt from the Lord.  I am grateful that He heard our cries and also grateful that He promises us that we can have light continually, whether we are above the water or under the water, if we continue to pray, study His Word and listen to and follow the Prophet.